#9 Driving with Dead People

Driving with Dead People by Monica Holloway. First of all, warnings. This book deals with heavy topics, including suicide, so if you trigger, I'd stay away. We learn about Holloway's childhood, and she makes being raised by an abusive narcissist and a neglectful narcissist entertaining and engaging. But then, as she details her early adulthood and deals with her suicidal sister, new details emerge.

I won't go into details, but what I liked best about this book was how even though we don't find out the details of the evilness until the end of the book, we KNOW that something's wrong in Holloway's house. Holloway's description of the family dynamic, the occasional cryptic comment from her mother, it all ties together into one horrifying picture, and we suspect before Holloway comes to her realization. The book is a fascinating study of at least half the principles in my family crisis class, and yeah.

But you know what I LOVED about this book, despite the really difficult subject matter? Holloway motherfucking faces up to her demons. She has a brother who is drinking his life away, a sister who refuses to talk to her because she doesn't want to remember, a mother who is determinedly oblivious, and a sister who is shatteringly fragile. There is one point in the book where it's really clear she had two choices: go ahead and figure out the extent of her father's abuse, or bury it, thereby maintaining her relationship with the majority of her family. She makes a choice. And it's the hard choice, the brave choice, the right choice. She faces what happened to her and her family, and she tears her life apart.

And she doesn't regret it. How amazing is that, how STRONG is that, to be able to look at everything you knew about your childhood, about your family, about yourself, and to admit that it was a lie?

I don't know if I'll ever read this book again, but I wanted to write this review so I could remember. There are people who face the truth, and it hurts and it destroys what you thought you knew, but it's worth it. It's fucking worth it.