#9 Driving with Dead People

Driving with Dead People by Monica Holloway. First of all, warnings. This book deals with heavy topics, including suicide, so if you trigger, I'd stay away. We learn about Holloway's childhood, and she makes being raised by an abusive narcissist and a neglectful narcissist entertaining and engaging. But then, as she details her early adulthood and deals with her suicidal sister, new details emerge.

I won't go into details, but what I liked best about this book was how even though we don't find out the details of the evilness until the end of the book, we KNOW that something's wrong in Holloway's house. Holloway's description of the family dynamic, the occasional cryptic comment from her mother, it all ties together into one horrifying picture, and we suspect before Holloway comes to her realization. The book is a fascinating study of at least half the principles in my family crisis class, and yeah.

But you know what I LOVED about this book, despite the really difficult subject matter? Holloway motherfucking faces up to her demons. She has a brother who is drinking his life away, a sister who refuses to talk to her because she doesn't want to remember, a mother who is determinedly oblivious, and a sister who is shatteringly fragile. There is one point in the book where it's really clear she had two choices: go ahead and figure out the extent of her father's abuse, or bury it, thereby maintaining her relationship with the majority of her family. She makes a choice. And it's the hard choice, the brave choice, the right choice. She faces what happened to her and her family, and she tears her life apart.

And she doesn't regret it. How amazing is that, how STRONG is that, to be able to look at everything you knew about your childhood, about your family, about yourself, and to admit that it was a lie?

I don't know if I'll ever read this book again, but I wanted to write this review so I could remember. There are people who face the truth, and it hurts and it destroys what you thought you knew, but it's worth it. It's fucking worth it.

#8 The Great Derangement:

The Great Derangement by Matt Taibbi. Everything I said about Smells Like Dead Elephants? Goes for this book too. Taibbi's pissed off. He made some interesting points about the appeals of mass religion, and it freaked me out to see him slowly slipping into the fundamentalist mindset. I have no idea how he spent so long living a double life and yet maintaining enough perspective to pull aside the curtain. An interesting read, but it's difficult, especially if you're still feeling that Obama giddiness. Maybe wait for it to wear off naturally before reading this book.

#7 I Was Told There'd Be Cake

I Was Told There'd Be Cake by Sloane Crosley. A book of memoirs by a twenty-something New Yorker. It was interesting, but three weeks later I can't remember too much about it. A fun read for the afternoon, but not something you absolutely NEED to read.

#6 Cold Comfort Farm

Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Foster. What can I say? I finished the last page and turned to the first. Pragmatic, light, sly, and funny as hell. Just a gem of a book. Sorry, I can't be more coherent than that. *shrugs*

#5 I Capture the Castle

I Capture the Castle is not what I expected from the author of "101 Dalmatians." Cassandra Mortmain wants to become a writer. However, she has to deal with her family: sullen sister Rose, washed-up father James, and sensible-with-a-dash-of-crazy stepmother Topaz. James wrote a book, but unfortunately hasn't written anything else for 10 years and the family is rapidly running out of money while living in a rented castle. Despite this myriad of obstacles, Cassandra gets hold of a journal and begins to write. One of her best lines: "I have just remarked to Rose that our situation is really rather romantic, two girls in this strange and lonely house. She replied that she saw nothing romantic about being shut up in a crumbling ruin surrounded by a sea of mud."

Cassandra is an utterly charming narrator. With every chapter beginning with an explanation of how she has time to write, she tells the story of her sister's courtship of the new wealthy landlords and her father's gradual intellectual reawakening. Cassandra is so sensible you forget she is only 17, until she falls in love. And then you remember. Hoo boy, do you remember. I have to say, Smith PERFECTLY captures the longing and overly dramatic sensibilities of a literate 17 year old girl. Falling in love at that age is all pain and longing and dizzying joy and Smith allows Cassandra to experience all of it without becoming annoying. And seriously, I've read my old journals. The fact that she made teenage love bearable, let alone compelling, is pretty damn impressive.

The characters are well-developed, if sometimes a bit cliched. My favorite (other than Cassandra herself) is Topaz, a woman who lives up (or down?) to her name. Mini diversion here. I live in New Mexico, and we have what is called a "Santa Fe type." The women wear cowboy boots with broomstick skirts, practically drip turquoise and silver Indian jewelry and drive Subarus. The men wear Teva sandals and stringy pony tails, are deeply, deeply tanned, and hit on young women. They are a common and instantly recognizable sight in New Mexico. Now don't get me wrong, I see the attractions of a red broomstick skirt, but... Do other regions have these? Not Santa Fe in particular, but New Agey, sanctimonious types? But, back to the book: Topaz in a 1930's English Santa Fe type. She likes to wander about naked in the woods and she'll randomly spot nonsense about the beauty of nature. But her affectations covers a deeply sensible and pragmatic woman who keeps the deeply dysfunctional Mortmain family together. She's utterly charming and scatty and my second favorite character this year.

Although I loved Topaz, the writing, the characters, the ending, really everything about the book, I'm not putting this in the reread pile. There are certain books that I just fall in love with, finishing them only to turn back to page one so as to prolong the experience. This book reminded me a bit too much of my adolescence to comfortably revisit it soon. But I'm keeping it in case I ever find myself in the company of a lovesick preteen or teenager.

Update

OK, so I've fallen a bit behind. I'm now up to book 9 I think, so I'm going to try to get those up today or tomorrow. The professor I TA for had her baby a few weeks early, so I got swamped.

status quo

I’ve read five new books in the past 2 weeks (since December 29th). Unfortunately, I don’t think this rate will continue as school starts on Wednesday, so I’m taking the opportunity to post the books I hope to read in the next couple weeks:

The God Delusion
American Earth: Environmental Writing Since Thoreau (I hated Thoreau in high school and college, man. HATED HIM. Also not so fond of Emerson or any of the other Transcendentalists. Except Walt Whitman. When the rest of the American Lit survey class were bitching about Hawthorne's use of the passive voice, I'd read Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,/ Missing me one place search another,/ I stop somewhere waiting for you. Still one of my absolute favorites.)
Cold Comfort Farm
The Savage Detectives
I Capture the Castle
Them: Adventures with Extremists
Infinite Jest (yeah, I'm not even kidding myself with this one. You could teach an entire CLASS on this novel, and I'm going to finish it in the next two weeks? But, I WANT to read this. I've read all of his other work and I love David Foster Wallace. His death made the world less...everyhing, really. However, 1100 pages? Infinite Jest is going to stay on this list for awhile.)

Seeing as I'm taking three graduate courses and starting up the TA position again, I really don't know if I'll get to these anytime soon. But, the goal is to read 100 books this year. And the only way that's going to happen is if I stop watching so much TV and start reading more books. *sighs*